Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Just Breathe

"...patience is a deep breath. It clears the air. It stops foolishness from whipping its scorpion tail all over the room. It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil."

Today's Love Dare, from yesterday's reading, was to demonstrate patience and say nothing negative to Derek. I have to be honest here, patience is one of the LAST things I do well. I am a results oriented person, I want to see things happen when I want them to happen - waiting is not something I enjoy doing. That carries over into my attitude towards Derek more times than not, and it can be hurtful. Often, I find myself getting frustrated over little things that don't matter, but at that moment in time, they seem like they are the most important thing in the entire world. Sometimes, if it were up to me, I would have a magic wand that I could wave in the air and everything would happen that I directed. Thankfully, that is not the case, but sadly I'm sure my husband has felt the wrath of Arwen more times than not by my impatience and desire to see instant results.

Just the other day, I was on the phone with my sister and was going to meet up with her. I had to time the meeting just right, and she called to let me know what mile marker she was at. I instantly turned to Derek and said, where is that, when do I need to leave? As I sat there for a total of 5 seconds waiting for a response, I got really angry because I didn't have an answer yet. I blew up at him, and he ended up getting frustrated with me (and rightly so!), because I wasn't willing to patiently wait for him to think about where she was at and figure out when I would need to leave the house. This is just ONE example of thousands that I could provide you with that have taken place over the past week!

I need to learn to love my husband by being patient and not being negative towards him. I have been blessed with an amazing husband, but sometimes I admit the way I treat him does not reflect how wonderful he is. So today, I have been working on being patient, and just breathing. If I find myself getting worked up or wanting an instant answer or immediate result, I have resolved to take a deep breath and trust my husband. Derek listens to me, and one thing that I have learned is that if I ask him to help me with something, he ALWAYS follows through. My problem, is that he doesn't always follow through when I think he should. The point isn't when something gets done (at least 95% of the time), but that it gets done. Reading this segment of The Love Dare, made me think of this song. Anytime that I've gotten impatient today, I just hit the "auto-play" button in my head, take a minute to chill out and relax. Enjoy the song!

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